An Artist's Haven.
I feel closer to the undercurrent energy of my "truer" self thrumming beneath the surface. This is a reminder. This is the version of me that I'm seeking to have more constant contact with. It is my base.
What does it feel like? It feels like whole foods, energy from the earth. It is quiet, still. It is not frenetic, though I put myself in a frenzy to find it. All day I've been driving while glancing at my phone. Distracted driving. Distracted from the boredom of a long highway. Not wishing to engage with the present. Eating sugar, driving fast, finding entertaining things to listen to.
This house is well put-together, it's got straight lines, and feels warm and inviting. I'm in Omaha, Nebraska staying in the guest bedroom of a man who hosts couch surfing folks. He's given me a greater gift than he knows. He's given me peace. From this place I can create.
I need to make for myself a haven. A clean place. In a clean town. Clean foods. Clean friends. Clean thoughts. Pure. Simple. I remember now those revelations. I want to live a full life, not a cobbled together actor's experience. Not borrowing space. Living. Not borrowing a job for a while. Living. Not borrowing a character for a while, living that character. Expanding that character. Breathing into that character. My mind butts up against the forms of theater that have come, that leave me discouraged. A show. A one-man show. A musical. In a black box theater. In a proscenium. With seats. What ELSE is there?
Improv in Chicago was exciting. The space was amazing, spacious, and the show was inspiring. It was an all-woman improv.
I just keep thinking... I don't want a cobbled together actor's life. I want a real life. I want to be an actor... but somehow more. I want to create for a living. I want to wield the magic wand. I want to conduct the magic orchestra. And I want the players to be supported. I want them to be at home with me in their creations. Not jittery because they could be fired at any time. Not looking over their shoulders at each other, thinking competitive thoughts. I want them... I want ME to feel a luxurious, supported atmosphere. A space that is well cared for. That is loved. That is more than just a typical theater. A facility that includes a vocal recording studio. A YMCA for actors. An OMEGA for actors.
Jake created this. He did this. He did it. He gave himself the gift of a community of unity. A family.
Thanks to God. For this space. For this kindness given to me by my host. For this exchange of company for a bed. Goodnight.
