The time is nearly upon me. I am going to soon uproot myself, my life. I am moving to a place I've never been.
But let's look a little deeper. What is it for? It's not the place I'm moving to. It's a place inside of me I'm allowing to move in. I want to stand in a field. In the field of my bliss. What does it look like? What does it FEEL like?
It is a world separate from the actor's grind. It is outside. Is it the Renaissance Festival? That distilled magic, yes. I am very good at acting through a character in an interactive way. Of staying in character, being larger than life, bringing out joy in people. I watched a video of 1000 people playing "Learn to Fly" by the Foo Fighters. That many people united in a common artistic thing, in an outdoor arena, is near to the heart of it.
I feel frustrated by my lack of clear vision. What does this thing I want to do look like? Is it like Kneehigh, where I'm an artistic director?
Heart, stay open. It's out there somewhere. It will awaken something in HERE somewhere. Inside me.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
