Ok, so I had something of an epiphany on the train. I saw two Indian (racist/ignorant description, perhaps) sitting next to each other. Usually two guys sitting next to each other on the train would have a seat between them. No, they were comfortably right next to each other, yet showed no sign of being disturbed.
My epiphany came as I walked on to the train after a long night of work, and an abnormally long closing procedure. I sat there alone after everyone had left work in a quiet corner, and heard the voices in my head. It became crystal clear in that quiet space how much the voices in my head chatter. Most of the time they're not even my voice. My inner voice is drowned out by the chatter of others. I sat looking at a stage in a dark theater, hearing all these opinions of what I should be thinking, or what theater should be... and I stopped. And I imagined each of those individual voices as a little capsule burdening my mind. I imagined it breaking off like a chunk of glacier and falling away, still encapsulated. And an awesome thing happened. That voice actually stopped. I proceeded to continue doing that with every voice I could pinpoint, until I was close to quiet in my head. Then I saw and felt the space for what it is. And from there I could reverberate through my soul how I felt.
Every person on earth has a different soul. They have different eyes (the windows to the soul) with which to see. Different experiences which distort or color what they see. But beneath that, there is their soul. The unchanging, still waters that are only theirs. What good are we if we shut that up in favor of the voices in our head. Our mind says, "try to think of things this way." or "try to see things this way" Why try? Ok, trying to think or see things a different way is like trying on shoes. Or it should be. Shoes for the soul. Soul soles (oh man... I'm gonna be RICH!). Anyway, I mean, you're just trying something on to see how it catches you. You and your mind are the observer.
So sitting on the train, I began to translate that into everyday experiences. Why should anyone be afraid of anyone else? It is fear that keeps me from talking to strangers, even when I desperately want to start a conversation. Imagine a world where we all just threw off the voices in our head, the ego, the voice of the society, the voice of our parents, the voices of our friend's opinions, and spoke from the soul. Reconnect to the source. In other words, imagine if everyone allowed themselves to be themselves.
Yet, there's a problem. We get bogged down. Who am I? What am I doing with my life? Am I living my dream? How do I get there? How do I take my dreams and manifest them in the real world? What about money? I don't have enough money to do that. I need a better job. I need a girlfriend. I need a better apartment. All of these hit me. Every day. Except it's all backwards. All of those thoughts are distractions from my still soul. I know what to do. Everything I say, everything I do, if it came from a true place deep within, would automatically make me A) happier, and B) closer to where I think I want to be, and C) the person I really am. The person I'm destined to be. The person I've always been, who's been buried, hiding, unsure of how to surface. But always there. That's the key. It's always there.
Every man is a prism. Experiences shine in, through the soul, and get blasted out in rainbow light from the mouth, hands, to do thing and say things. The mind is your sidekick. The mind is there to help analyze. But it may only go so far, I believe. The truth is deep within. It's what reverberates when you hear that song. It's the chord of truth.
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