I'm in an inspired state of mind, and guess what? IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! As of 3 hours ago, I'm 27. Yes. Yes I am. Funny how I feel my age, as soon as I turn it.
That reawakening I was hoping for? It's coming. I'm thawing. Life is being shaken up just a bit, in a good way. The wheels are turning, and I feel suddenly tonight like I have something to say, something to give, something to share, something to love. I have the ache of old love, the hope of new love, the need for more love, the trust in all love. I saw a hip hop documentary tonight. Lots of folks talking passionately about rapping. Many of them found their bliss there. It was so clear in their eyes, in their spirits. My turn. I want to speak with that fire about everything I do. Time to create shit. Get recognition. Inspiration -> Confidence -> Fuck the haters -> Recognition -> Love.
Let's do it. Do the thing. What's the thing? Art. Singing, performing, grabbing the mic, grabbing the guitar, grabbing the world, and shaking it. Making my mark, leaving a scar. Acting transcendently on stage. Letting life course through my blood. Another source of recent inspiration? The guy who played captain hook in Peter and the Star Catcher. He clearly works hard. He's 38, and won a Tony, and is on a TV show. His career's taking off, and he is keeping up the pace. I saw him perform on a Tuesday night, and he was giving it every bit of himself. He merged with the character. He was not egoic. Someone told me recently that she was a fan of a role she saw me in because of my commitment. Despite awkward costumes, less-than-perfect set, she believed me. She believed me! That is all I want when I play a character.
Whew! 27. Closer and closer to the man I'm becoming.
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